The Person Below Me

That couldn't be any further than the truth. Lol

Tpbm is so cheap that he eats everyone else's coleslaw when out at the diner with his friends.

not only that, but I tell them to "save the bones" so I can suck the marrow of them for later.

tpbm lives a miserly life, hoarding all their money.

That's right, and I can't wait to have kids just so I can not give them anything and flaunt my money in their face.

Tpbm is a deadbeat dad.

I set the bar pretty low... after a stink in the pen for beating on my wife and kids, I get out cause they too afraid to press charges on me, so go home and beat some sense into them so they don't call the cops on me next time, but only after getting totally wasted. Gotta teach these dem kids a lesson!

Tpbm is so rich, their kids don't go to classes, but have private instructors for everything they do.

Yes and I also wipe my kid's asses even though they are old enough to do it themselves...oh and our toilet is made of gold.

Tpbm is 1337.

How did you know Greg?!? You are what you eat, and that's ALL I EVER EAT!!!:

tpbm has stalked a celebrity before for days, may have even lost work or received a cease and deist order because of it

I'm Grammar Nazi cat. They always try accusing me of things cause they're just jealous.

Tpbm loves kielbasa cause it reminds them of something thick and long.

I honestly don't know what that is and looking things up on my phone is big pain in the ass.

tpbm had a friend get bite by a snake right on their asshole and had to suck the venom out to save their friend but when doing so, got quite a surprise

A chocolate shake surprise that didn't taste anything like chocolate.

Tpbm feeds baby chickens to their pet python.

and lizards and... don't tell the neighbor but his dog is also missing...

tpbm dreams of bathing in the blood of virgins, after reading about Elizabeth Báthory