The Person Below Me

I love jars with old pickles in them.

Tpbm uses his mom's deodorant when his runs out.

I love to smell like her, to be called ''Lola'', to hit myself really hard and wear high heels.

tpbm likes to call a man ''lola'' while hitting ''her'' really hard on high heels.

Am I allowed in the transgender bathroom?

Tpbm sucks his boss' ass do bad that he knows exactly what he ate last night for dinner.

At least my boss appreciates me and doesnt treat me like crap.

tpbm drinks the ''super ultra secret jar'' of Heathen when its full.

Whatever I just drank makes me feel like a complete heathen.

Tpbm eats his cheeseburger with chop sticks.

Anything worth eating is done with chopsticks... ANYTHING!

TPBM thought the idea of having sex with a pig made sense after watching Black Mirror.... and did it together with some pals on camera

I wouldn't ever bang a pig unless a mirror was involved.

Tpbm eats play-doh.

Fuck yeah I do! I do my best to impersonate a man-child and innocently waddle into the nearest toy store unnoticed (except by those calling the cops), then proceed straight to the play doh section to devour said contents while hidden beneath the assortment of dolls and balls.

when tpbm is constipated, they literally shove their fingers up their arse to free up the gold, and when that doesn't work, wake up dear pops to finish to job.

My ass needs some extensive plumbing.

Tpbm needs to snake out my anus.

Luckily for you, I just purchased an industrial, commercial grade Drum Machine (aka "snake") for the deepest, dirtiest drains because I was tired of calling the plumber, but I can't guarantee it won't kill you.

tpbm LOVES IT when going down on their partner and getting a lungful of foul flatulence causing them to choke on vomit momentarily