The Dark Fairy

I wish I won the lottery

....

Granted! You won the lottery and shared your winnings with the ultimately awesome GregMXL. We then became best friends and lived forever happy and rich. Thread is now named "The Bright Fairy."

I wish this thread was named "The Dark Fairy" again. :twisted:

Granted! But the name was already copyrighted so, Marco gets slammed with a ginormous lawsuit he can't afford to defend, and is tossed into prison for failing to repay his debt to society and we're left without a forum to type smack on.

I wish I was at the bar RIGHT NOW so I could give that Irish Car Bomb drink a try!

Granted! You get smashed after a few of those and can't wait to get back to your computer at home and thank GregMXL but unfortunately you're fucking tanked and you run over a puppy. Your wife sees the puppy guts all over your car and she not only dumps you but calls PETA.

I wish I was OJ Simpson.

Granted! ....nothing to corrupt here... his life sucks and he's still in jail and in debt for life.

I wish I could go back in time and be some sadistic asshole leader for a month or two

Granted! You become any USA president and as soon as you realize what a dick you are you are at least happy to know that you can go back to the future in a month or two. Except you can't. Then you kill yourself but not before you ruin the USA and set all nukes pointing everywhere.

I want to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

Granted! You kick ass and take names... for like an hour before the feds catch you and you end up in some scientists workshop being dissected

I wish I could marry my car

Granted! Good sex usually leads to a good marriage. So you stuck your wiener in the back tailpipe and everything was fine. Except you forgot you left your car running and the pipes were extremely hot. Your cock melts and your car divorces you cause you can't pleasure it anymore.

I wish my wife would stop hanging with all those male friends of hers.

Granted. You are now wed to UberLesbian the ultimate man-hater and five time octagon champion.

I wish drinking on the job was in my job description.

Granted! But so is vomiting on your boss unfortunately. Unrmployed, liver damage and dead.

I wish masturbating violently was in my job description.