The Dark Fairy

Granted! Your wife crashed the car New Years eve/day and now she walks to work and you work on fixing the car.

I wish my car could run off oxygen and never needed gas ever.

Granted! You're a cheap bastard. Go drive a Prius.

I wish Taem would treat his kids the way he treats his fellow Median forumers.

Who says I don't...? :twisted:

Dark fairy says wish ungrantable due to double-jeopardy.

I wish I could grow money out of my arms at will, as in hundred dollar bills.

Granted! Now you never have to get a hair cut. All your hairs have been replaced by money. Unfortunately you start shitting out nickels, dimes, quarters and those dreaded half dollars. Ouch.

I wish the cunt that we rent to that lives upstairs would jump out of her window and die.

She does just that, however falls on you on the way down paralyzing you completely and permanently for life.

I wish Taem would make a wish.

granted! He wishes he had won tonight's game of Talisman... but since he didn't, bunk wish.

wish I had on tonight's game of Talisman...

Granted!

However instead of receiving the Crown of Command, you get the Tiara of Tepidness. The tiara imbues upon you the power of mediocrity and you become ragingly ambivalent.

I wish my thumb didn't hurt.

Granted! You learn to stop cramming it up your own anus into others and now it feels much better.

I wish tv wasn't so distracting when I'm trying to pay bills

Granted! You are now in prison for past due porn site bills. so TV watching is uninterrupted.

I wish I had another viable choice for president.