Own Writing/Poetry.

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TheUnderling
Monkey King
256 | 1
Alright then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It’s so great you enter it,
involuntarily.
Always something different
to keep you on your toes.
Endless content for your entertainment
and your eternal struggle for completion.
It has the greatest degree of sensation
and just the right amount of restriction from the laws of reality
to give you something simpler to play with.
Endless side quest to always keep you proud.
Always happy
from the vanity of your accomplishments
and the altruism of your deeds.
Always changing for you to progress on how worthy your achievements are.
Striving for the best, reaching for that glorified title of
A critic and a cynic.

Building up that experience, that eminence, and that power.
Feeling fulfilled as you live life and take part in its opportunities.
Gaining a sense of passion, a feeling of commitment, and the grace from persevering.
Obtaining the power to change, to mold this fantastic sandbox into your dreams.
Instilling your legend; your legacy; your epic as your time with the game ends.

Stitching the pieces together of the corner of the artful puzzle
as you venture through the great finale of your excursion.
You come to the realization of deadly nihilism.
The difficulty is rising exponentially
and time is not on my side.
It was fun while it lasted.
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Somnus
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From the start, I had a happy feeling. Like a positive vibe, u know? and it ended up fading ''and time is not on my side, it was fun while it lasted''.
Nicely done, I love when u ''compare'' both poems, you can see the styles, the patterns, the experiences. Beautiful.
TheUnderling
Monkey King
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Thanks, i'm in the the whole tragedy genre and stuff. If I recall correctly, the length of each line also has a purpose.
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Crash
Madawc
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Heathen wrote:I really like it. Has a good sense of continuity throughout, and the metaphorical examples convey the spirit of this pretty well. And "A flower without a garden" is tremendously sad.

Don't listen to the neg, people tend to be better at criticism than they are at any sort of quantifiable talent.


Fixed the neg. Nice work, Somnus, and others.
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SpamBomb
Monkey King
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some times when things are broken small pieces are lost never to be found again
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Somnus
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LHawkins1 wrote:
Heathen wrote:I really like it. Has a good sense of continuity throughout, and the metaphorical examples convey the spirit of this pretty well. And "A flower without a garden" is tremendously sad.

Don't listen to the neg, people tend to be better at criticism than they are at any sort of quantifiable talent.


Fixed the neg. Nice work, Somnus, and others.


Thank you!
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Somnus
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Grey:

When two people hate each other it only benefits a third.
There was my name, timeless, cold, between her lips.
It'll never go away, not even after death.
Screaming, static, warm, it's just another pill?
These addictive thoughts will never end.
If to sleep is to wake up, you cant move or you'll lose yourself.
I'll have to carry my own casket, the shovel, the dirt.
Bleeding like a memory on a rainy day.
Not even her smile could save me from myself.
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Somnus
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The romance of an assassination:

He would love to tell you something, but he doesn't know.
A voice, time's tick-tock or just death?
How would I know the difference?
I'm just the claustrophobic trapped inside my mind.
And, when the ego dies, so do I.
Lost in thoughts I would never ask myself.
Like freedom, conditioned or enslaved.

She would never listen, but she doesn't know.
A memory is like a revolver, you gotta hold them tight.
Watching life pass by from the bedroom's window.
''Do you hear my bell?''
Can't be sure if it was madness, or pain. A gunshot.
The revolver shot itself.
Locked in an invisible cell inside of her.
And it never ends.
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Somnus
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After a week hospitalized fighting to get my health back on track I've been writting some stuff. Hope you like this thing I wrote on the phone:

There were better times, right? Oh, man, there were.

Often times I found myself thinking about them, and after the thought fades, a bittersweet feel invades my whole body. It's not a good feeling, but isn't a bad one either, just that, a bittersweet taste stuck in my stomach. This is because, sometimes, we make stupid and stubborn decisions in life that leaves us alone and miserable, then, is time to take a look at the picture to see what has become of ourselves. As always, maybe I'm wrong, I leave it to your interpretation.

Wish I could tell you my whole story, and wish you'd care as much as "they" did, but that's impossible. All I needed and everything I cared is really gone, all it's left is what they didn't take from me. Worst part is, after all this time, I don't care.

Why should we?
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Knight_Saber
Monkey King
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I like your poetry Somnus. I'm a muso and I could easily turn your poems into songs.