Heathen wrote:Yeah, everyone is spot on, but it feels like I have rose tinted glasses permanently attached to my face. Psychology is a real bitch. I miss her, a lot. I daydream about cheesy romantic comedy-esque reunions when my mind isn't preoccupied. I know there's always someone who will be statistically better for me, that's just how statistics work with 8 billion different people, but I feel there is beauty in choice. A beauty in the choice to love the other person regardless of finding someone potentially more like yourself. You make a choice to show them they matter by forsaking any other possibilities, and allowing yourself to be blinded, and not letting in those creeping doubts.
I haven't talked to her since I've made this post, and I don't plan to. I know she loves me, I know she misses me, the love never left at any point in time. But I also know she's young, just 21, and she wants to experience what the world has to offer without regret. It's not as big of a cop out as one would think. I'm only 23, and do not share that innate desire to sow my oats, but she was always incredibly sexual and I knew she was really hormonal, she wants to have her experiences, and I understand that in a logical biological sense, but I don't have the capacity to emotionally accept it
Again though, i'm being a depressing bitch right now. That being said...
She had kind of a weird square butt....
I guess I will finally chime in with my womanly opinion, lol.
This was beautifully written. At only 23 you clearly understand what it means to love someone. I'm sorry that you are hurting right now, that's one of the scariest things about falling in love--the potential to have your heart broken. I think you're handling it quite well. It's okay to be "a depressing bitch", you're grieving over the loss of love, which is always, always devastating. But I can see in your words that you have accepted this and as cheesy and cliche' as this sounds, that is the first step towards moving on. You're gonna be okay and you will love again, that's the other beauty about there being 8 billion people in the world.
Lastly, LOL @ square butt