Post break-up

Heathen wrote:Yeah, everyone is spot on, but it feels like I have rose tinted glasses permanently attached to my face. Psychology is a real bitch. I miss her, a lot. I daydream about cheesy romantic comedy-esque reunions when my mind isn't preoccupied. I know there's always someone who will be statistically better for me, that's just how statistics work with 8 billion different people, but I feel there is beauty in choice. A beauty in the choice to love the other person regardless of finding someone potentially more like yourself. You make a choice to show them they matter by forsaking any other possibilities, and allowing yourself to be blinded, and not letting in those creeping doubts.

I haven't talked to her since I've made this post, and I don't plan to. I know she loves me, I know she misses me, the love never left at any point in time. But I also know she's young, just 21, and she wants to experience what the world has to offer without regret. It's not as big of a cop out as one would think. I'm only 23, and do not share that innate desire to sow my oats, but she was always incredibly sexual and I knew she was really hormonal, she wants to have her experiences, and I understand that in a logical biological sense, but I don't have the capacity to emotionally accept it

Again though, i'm being a depressing bitch right now. That being said...

She had kind of a weird square butt....

I guess I will finally chime in with my womanly opinion, lol.

This was beautifully written. At only 23 you clearly understand what it means to love someone. I'm sorry that you are hurting right now, that's one of the scariest things about falling in love--the potential to have your heart broken. I think you're handling it quite well. It's okay to be "a depressing bitch", you're grieving over the loss of love, which is always, always devastating. But I can see in your words that you have accepted this and as cheesy and cliche' as this sounds, that is the first step towards moving on. You're gonna be okay and you will love again, that's the other beauty about there being 8 billion people in the world.

Lastly, LOL @ square butt

Wrote you a haiku bro, hope you like it.

Do not fret Heathen
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On Valentine's Day.

@jamielynn7483 Hey, thanks for your words. No matter how many times anyone says any sort of variant of what you did, I actually tend to lose sight of its truth, so it never hurts to have this kind of endearing reminder.

A couple days ago, she wrote me a long apology letter, but nowhere did it show any regret, so at this point, I told her to save her apologies. None of it even felt sincere, or was apologizing about anything I wanted her to. I said some other mean things out of anger, but to be honest, nothing I regret saying. I have since blocked her number, since i've been trying to talk to another girl. Thing is, I don't want anyone or anything.

This new girl is cool enough, but I look at her and feel nothing. And that goes for basically every girl I look at, trying to find some sort of emotional stir that Janelle gave me. Nothing. It could be that i'm "not ready", but honestly, I feel so exhausted of the whole "develop feelings" stage. I'm a pretty high functioning introvert, that I really don't need a relationship to complete me. In fact, I may be who I am best when i'm single.

@Fumbles Two words; Dick Chafe.

So, ive recently lost the love of my life, after 9 long years. All I can say is there is no hope in dope, if its meant to be it will be, until then work on yourself. If you dont love yourself, how can anyone else love you? Not saying you dont, but we could all use improvements! I hate myself, so guess thats why I'm where Im presently at... Torching this fine quality herbal to forget her name and mine!

Loving yourself before anyone can love you is kind of crap. Any of the deepest loves i've ever felt were generally for people who very much so hated themselves.

But your sentiment isn't all lost on me. I do need to work on myself. And whilst I don't drink or do drugs anymore (I stopped a couple years ago for her), my quality of life isn't all that bad. Sobriety is boring, yes, but I occupy myself enough to not need the help of substances.

All that being said, we all have our ways of staying sane, so I wouldn't discredit yours. Let's hope we both find some measure of peace and happiness.

Heathen wrote:@jamielynn7483 Hey, thanks for your words. No matter how many times anyone says any sort of variant of what you did, I actually tend to lose sight of its truth, so it never hurts to have this kind of endearing reminder.

A couple days ago, she wrote me a long apology letter, but nowhere did it show any regret, so at this point, I told her to save her apologies. None of it even felt sincere, or was apologizing about anything I wanted her to. I said some other mean things out of anger, but to be honest, nothing I regret saying. I have since blocked her number, since i've been trying to talk to another girl. Thing is, I don't want anyone or anything.

This new girl is cool enough, but I look at her and feel nothing. And that goes for basically every girl I look at, trying to find some sort of emotional stir that Janelle gave me. Nothing. It could be that i'm "not ready", but honestly, I feel so exhausted of the whole "develop feelings" stage. I'm a pretty high functioning introvert, that I really don't need a relationship to complete me. In fact, I may be who I am best when i'm single.

@Fumbles Two words; Dick Chafe.

You might need some time to get over your previous girlfriend. I think that the shock/disappointment/negative feelings she gave you might make you feel tired and insecure (thus the "feel exhausted of the whole "developing stage"), and prevent you from having thoughts of moving forward with the new girl. So I guess you might want to spend some time to reset your mind and emotions. Just my 2 cents.

I recently broke up with my gf after 3 years as well, and yeah I have been feeling down ever since. The reason for our parting was not the same as yours, so our situations are a bit different; but nevertheless I understand how depressing it is. The only advice I would say is to occupy your time with various kinds of activity, I think that helps