Post break-up

Alright, I'm going through a long term break up (3 years).

I moved back home from Florida to Washington on October 3rd after I found out my girlfriend of 3 years had been having an affair. Granted, I was emotionally distant and not very good to her. I've accepted that this was by far the best thing for us. That being said, I love her. A lot. I would get off my chair right now and get on a plane back to her if she asked me to. She hasn't, she doesn't want me back, QQ boohoo crymore yadayada.

That being said, I can't seem to break contact with her. I light up when she messages me, and I know I shouldn't, but I can't help myself but reply. All of the logic in me is saying to just get over her and stop being a giant pussy. So I guess the point of this topic is to get some emotional backing, and i'll comment something I hate about her on here every time I have the urge to reply to her. so I can get over her.

Hell, my constant late nightly Median sessions probably caused all of this, it's the least the forum could do.

I guess to start it off, she kind of had bad dental hygiene.

Heathen wrote:I guess to start it off, she kind of had bad dental hygiene.

Can't stand people with bad hygiene of any kind... let alone young people. You need to get your emotional needs filled. Easiest way would be to find yourself a new gf stat or a hobby to distract yourself while finding a new gf. Go out with friends and have fun.

It's rather hard to provide any helpful insight because it honestly depends on what you do want in the endgame. I agree with what Wotan says, although getting a new girlfriend "stat" may not be beneficial depending on how close you are to your ex and if she'll cause problems in any future girlfriends. But distractions are great, especially ones consisting of lots of social interaction. Distractions that don't involve social interations don't always do the trick in providing distractions, but rather time to think. And having time to think is a good way to emotionally kill yourself.

I've been through this before, and still am. But my endgame is to remain best friends with her.
The love of my life has been simply my best friend for three and a half years. We dated a few years ago and suddenly she decided she wanted someone else. I had done nothing to drive her off or anything, she simply got bored I suppose. Anyhow, both of us being completely emotionally unstable at the time (both of us with extreme depression and anxiety and her with schizophrenia), she still considered me a huge part of her life and couldn't bare the thought of losing me. Admittedly, I was still in love with her and also didn't want to lose her, so I stayed. Being the best of friends meant seeing each other every day, having really no chance for me to fall out of love with her. So, for the past three years (although lately I think I'm coming out of it), I've been carrying my own one-sided relationship with someone I love deeply while she has relationships with other guys. It all may sound confusing or stupid on my behalf (which it was), but shit happens.

So, ultimately, what do you want as your endgame? To be her best friend, a casual friend, someone distant, or nobody at all?

you have to cut off bridges with her or you'll never get over it, yes this includes deleting her account from all social media you use

Gekko64 wrote:you have to cut off bridges with her or you'll never get over it, yes this includes deleting her account from all social media you use

Exactly. As long you keep a small portion of ignorant hope you won't get through the grieving process. Treat this situation as if she died. She can't contact you anymore and you have to deal with it, fully accept that she will never ever come back, then go through the 7 or 5 stages of grief but be warned, even when you reach acceptance you can experience earlier stages again.

1 - Go to the street, find a random girl that's hot, ask her for a pic of you both (if she says no, keep trying). Btw make sure you smile a lot in the pic.
2 - Set it as a fb/whatsapp profile pic, if it's facebook write something like "I've been waiting my entire life for you"
3 - Then your old gf will think she's now worthless to you and will try to get you back (people are possessive, yes)
4 - Ez and now you dominate the relationship and mb you get to do anal

works everytime

Gekko64 wrote:you have to cut off bridges with her or you'll never get over it.

Imho burning bridges in this very moment will result only in a goodbye that you'll put in doubt in every given occasion.

Unda wrote:I would say only new boobs can heal you.

I think that going out looking for a "replacement" isn't good either. If whatever goes wrong you'll end up feeling like shit even more.

Heathen wrote:Alright, I'm going through a long term break up.

You say that you've accepted what happened as the best thing for you two (probably thinking in terms of the failing relationship), but obviously you haven't accepted the fact that this was actually the best for you as a person. I think this because you also say that you love her, and people usually want to stand closer to the one they love.
The healing process needs and deserves time, you have to think about this situation in the earnest and without being blinded by feelings linked to what you're missing about the past.
Now, what you love is probably an idea of her (I don't think you'd fall in love for a deceitful cheater) based on the shared happy memories and such; she lied and chose another person over you... this is not the "next step" she took in your story, this was the kick to kill it. Where's the future for the deads? Right know she is the worst ghost you can allow to haunt your present. The possibility of getting back together should be feared as the worst outcome.
Start working on yourself, it helps alot! Exercise in the gym, search for passions, hobbies, read books, find a goal... work on your mind and body, give a better purpose to the time you'd waste thinking about her.
This will help you also in a way that when you'll meet a sane person that you want to include in your life, you'll have so much more to bring to the table. Trust me.

Marco wrote:works everytime.

You're one heck of an evil master schemer.