I feel like I've bitten off more than I can chew

And I mean that in the context of even TRYing to play this. Everything is so different that when something goes wrong it sort of...stops me cold. Andariel's meteor spam, punishers on death from a pack of trash mobs in act 2 that vaporize me before I can actually move my mouse cursor. These things don't seem to be stuff a newbie like me can handle.

My only real experience with D2 as a whole until I was an adult was getting a double-swing barb through all acts in Normal. I've never played Hell difficulty in my life. And jumping back into this heavily dated game trying to play...this...was a poor life choice.

Before I call it quits entirely, I thought I'd put some feelers out. Give it another try before I just bow out because I like the pace of the gameplay, the speed, the power, the QoL brought in like simple quick stashing/cubing. But not being able to understand 90% of what I'm seeing without all these numbers involved is ruining my perception of this and I know my experience could be so much better.

Any advice?

It's not you. I don't have much time to write you a lenghty reply on why you should keep playing but for now I will tell you this. I don't know what class and build you're playing but I will suggest you roll a holy melee paladin and just follow the guide blindly. As for andy's meteor shower just run away from it until it drops pretty easy to do (or put on items with fire resist on, the answer to almost everything in the mod is resists>defense>life) . And the punishers are pretty OP but slow you can avoid them. But heed my advice roll a strong character for your first playthrough you won't be disaapointed. Check the old guides forum!
Old guides:https://forum.median-xl.com/viewforum.php?f=49

It's a hard game for sure. I'm not sure what class you're running. But probably a barb? First thing I guess is that all builds are not created equal. It sucks, but that's where we're at. It's less play your way and more play the same OP shit everyone else is playing.

If you're a barb my only suggestion is that you look into some summon barb gear. There is a set for this. It's hard to get loot when you can't get into hell so um... welp, I'm not familiar with the leveling process of a summon barb so all I can do is kill NM baal for you. I'm sure there's someone here with more info than myself tho.

It's a hard game for sure. I'm not sure what class you're running. But probably a barb?

I'd been playing all kinds of things but I'd had the most success with a couple barbs. Problem is melee is kind of a rough playstyle for me. I'm better with ranged. I should try that summon barb build you mentioned, I started one but I don't play on the multiplayer servers so it's been kinda slow going getting the character rolling like many of the others.

As for andy's meteor shower just run away from it until it drops

I probably should have prefaced that with something about not dying to it exactly. It's actually just very annoying to deal with because the AI can sometimes (oftentimes, in my case) cast it several times in a row and keep me from approaching while the bitch just stands in the back corner out of my reach. :V

punishers are pretty OP but slow you can avoid them

That feels like it should be the case but my barb that was shotgunned by like 7 of them from those monsters in act 2 that spawn them on death, didn't have the moment to outrun them at all. He was just chunked down to nothing before I could even move my cursor in a different direction because they spawned on top of me.

In reality, these were just examples of what's souring my experience. I'm not exactly trying to do nothing but complain but I feel like I'm fighting the game's archaic structure more than the enemies sometimes. It's just because I'm not used to the game anymore really and Median was built for people that are so used to the game they needed something new to challenge themselves with.

In median XL it has a monster pack per act that aces you. It's been toned down a bit from the previous versions. There was a ton of 1 shot mechanics that were eventually weeded out or removed to make it a more understandable game.
That's part of the charm of XL, there's shit that will knock your socks off so look the fuck out when you see X monster. The mechanics forums explain a lot of what to do, same with short question, along with just plain old playing the game and learning.
Having high defence is awesome but you still take 100% dmg from spell attacks. So that means you NEED to have full resist as often as you can to survive. Having any minion or on kill summon will help a ton since they take 100% of the dmg that would be aimed for you. Mobility attacks also dodge stuff that would otherwise kill you. XL is a learn n' grow, read the short FAQ and you'll learn a million things about D2 you never knew.

IE if you teleport and you have minions the first thing that moves takes every hit from nearby monsters (except aoe attacks that hits all). So if you tele attack and don't move if you have minions they will take all the hits before you do. That I learned 4 years later after playing median. There's always more.

Ishiga wrote:That feels like it should be the case but my barb that was shotgunned by like 7 of them from those monsters in act 2 that spawn them on death

You are propably talking about Goths. They cast multi-punishers only once on the moment they see you, not on death. So just avoid rushing in the pack.

Sigma actually made many things much more forgiving and newb-friendly. You will still propably die a lot since you don't know the enemies yet, but you also have unlimited TP:s and death has no penalty anymore so just keep dying and learn.

I actually recommend to play some melee clutter-free build as a starter, like Treewarden druid, its Thorn Strike is also kinda ranged if you need some distance. Summoners and casters tend to fill the screen with flashy things and you never know what's going on in the field and you don't learn which mobs have certain special skills.
Also make good use of mercenaries, they are tough and pack quite a punch even with shitty gear.

when you get hit with poison you can drink a health potion and the poisoning will go away

Same situation for me, but other feelings about it.
I playing Melee Necromancer without any guides and all my Diablo 2 experience - LOD on NORMAL difficulty. So you can tell how brutal Median XL for my epic skill level.
But it is fun - not because it is hard, but because it is interactive. I cant just walk and spam 1 button, i must use anything to survive. Sprinting, mobility skills, retreating, abusing enviroment (example:amazon hordes in baal challenge shred me to pieces in any open area, so i ambush them around corners),evading void zones and projectiles. When game is more demanding it is better, because it is more to play around, more fun. It is not about your skill (i like Median a lot, but die on Normal so often, then sometimes dont even have a gold for mercenary res), but about your mindset. Of course,maybe it can work only with Necromancer (dont know how good other melee, but Angel of Death skill was my bread and butter for surviving), but in all Normal game i found impossible to overcome only Frozen Demons horde in some optional (and skippable) cave in act 5, because they instantly stunlock me without any chances.
Try to play Median Xl without thoughts "death is a big deal", just die an try again. Maybe with this mindset you like mod as much as me.