Jokes

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Taem
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A monkey is smoking a joint

A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says "Hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come up and join me" So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river.

At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side.

He then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?!" The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with the monkey and his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!

The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint.

He looks up and says "Hey, MONKEY!" The Monkey looks down and says OMG!!!! DUUUDE .... HOW MUCH WATER DID YOU DRINK?'"
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Jampula
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No offence but that was too much building in for something funny. But I did laugh at the start for an image of monkey smoking a joint in a tree. :D

I'm not a joke-person myself and like more direct humor. But one joke came to mind:

A pirate walks in a bar with steering wheel in his pants. Bartender asks: do you know you have a steer-wheel in your pants? Pirate answers: "Yarr, it's driving me nuts!"
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Anonymous:
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That joke about monkey smoking joint in tree has a better version. The monkey does the joint thing and a beaver swims out to check what is going on. Finds out about joints and decides to try it. Monkey teaches inhale and exhale technique and beaver inhales. Then he decides to swim away and dives under water. After few minutes a huge hippo comes out. Monkey is super suprised and yells - beaver, you forgot to exhale.
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Taem
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A dumb yo manna joke I just heard the other day;

Yo Mamma so ugly, when she's giving head, guys thing they're getting anal!
Berkabus1
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What did the shoe say to the other shoe?

How’s it going ?
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ixvid_
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What is the most expensive hairstyle?

Chemotherapy.