Stupid Question -> Stupid Answer

lighter fluid and matches should do the trick.

Can anyone launch a drone strike??

Only Star Wars

How can I join the Rebellion?

Find something stupid, like wearing clothes in public, and rebel against it.

What do I call the babies of white boards and black boards??

Just boards, although some might say mulatto.

Do mulatto boards really make for a better writing surface?

They look for a non-binary, gluten free, non-gmo, free range, all natural, sustainable writing surface.

Am I recyclable??

I once saw a movie where someone got crushed by a trash compactor, so I'd say yes, definitely

Should I charge my roommate from his deposit for this huge fucking mess in my bathroom?

No. Just smother him in his sleep.

Do you think my fingers are insecure about how finger-y they look??

Eat more sodium to get a nice, plump, marshmallow appearance.

If I feel sleepy after drinking a BANG! energy drink, should I go ahead and finish the 6-pak?

Yes. And then sprint to the store and get a case for a sound sleep.

Where is the best place to hide a body??

The tanning booth. Nobody ever looks there.

Where did I put my keys?