The Person Below Me

[Taem]

Cougars are what I aim for, but a wilty bag of aged flesh is the real prize of the day

tpbm jerks off using only their feet, because their hands are occupied strangling themselves via Auto-erotic asphyxia

[GregMXL]

I wanna die exactly the same way that guy from the Kung Fu TV series killed himself.

Tpbm uses Kung Fu as a sexual torture method to arouse himself and his gay lover.

[Taem]

I give new meaning to the word "hand job" when I add in my karate chops

tpbm is emotionally detached from others and only loves themself

[GregMXL]

I love me so much that I'm gonna buy myself a nice birthday present to celebrate how much of an old geezer I've become.

Tpbm is sending me some birthday cash through PayPal cause they're so awesome.

[Taem]

Indeed, I sent it through the Donation Center on the tab up top

tpbm has put peanut butter on their dogs nose while stoned (both the dog and human) for a good half hour laugh-a-thon

[GregMXL]

I have a rottie who looks like the dog from Half Baked and I always give him peanut butter.

Tpbm gives his toddler a can of Miller Light before bedtime.

[Taem]

Well, if we're being honest here, I put it in his sippie cup with a shot of bourbon. Not a peep all night long!

tpbm travels abroad just to eat such rare delicacies as monkey brains and elephant testicles

[GregMXL]

I'd rather just eat my dog and cats. Already prepared in case there's a shortage of food in some sort of apocalypse.

Tpbm is a professional asswipe.

[Taem]

Not only am I such a douche, but I quite l literally professionally wipe grown mens asses in any public restroom for a buck, but I don't suck.

[UncleGrimjerk]

TPBM will actually respond in the proper format, unlike TPAM.