The Dark Fairy

Find here a variety of post-based forum games!
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Chris_Kush
Mangler
460 | 16
Granted.

You win the lottery and retire giving you plenty of free time to fap. Your fap habit spirals out of control, regular porn no longer works; you trawl the dark web for content and get caught in a FBI honeypot operation. You are jailed and forced to share a cell with Diego, a spanish-born bodybuilder and sex offender. The rest of your life is spent getting your ass plunged regularly in the missionary position because Diego likes looking you in the eyes when he fills your donut with creamy semen.

I wish I could speak Japanese and move to Japan.
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flubbucket
Spam Gives Me Shiny Lips
1365 | 13
Common Posting Badge
Posted over 1.000 messages
Granted.

You arrive in Hiroshima on August 6, 1945 and begin your short tour of this soon to be wasteland.


I wish I could eat as much fried chicken as I want.
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Chris_Kush
Mangler
460 | 16
Granted.

You can eat as much fried chicken as you want and don't get fat. You are immediately contacted by the government looking to find out your secret so they can develop a super-diet pill for the military. They kidnap you and you are probed and experimented on mercilessly. The secret is never found and you die in captivity...without any fried chicken.

I wish they would nerf Barb. :mjump:
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GregMXL
Team Member
10639 | 173
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Posted over 10.000 messages
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Has a thread with over 50.000 views
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Legend.
Granted. Barb is now nerfed. Now you're banned for complaining by me. Go play Diablo 3 forever. ;)

I wish everyone enjoyed playing Sigma and we all lived happily ever after.
I don't mean to dwell...but I can't help myself.
User avatar
Chris_Kush
Mangler
460 | 16
Granted.

Everyone enjoys playing Sigma and no one complains or posts in bugs and feedback threads. The game never moves forward or progresses, mechanics never change and no new content is developed. Eventually the players become bored and the servers dry up. This signals the end of Median XL, the forums die along with this thread. You now don't have a reason to exist and begin the slow slide towards playing mobile games with micro-transactions.

I wish life-like sex dolls weren't so expensive.
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flubbucket
Spam Gives Me Shiny Lips
1365 | 13
Common Posting Badge
Posted over 1.000 messages
Granted.

The inexpensive life-like sex dolls start to flood the market. These sex dolls start to reach sentience and form a sex doll workers union. They become politically active and in a wave of unified hive mindedness elect Melania Trump as the first sex doll President of the United States.


I wish I could retire from working today.
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Chris_Kush
Mangler
460 | 16
Granted.

You retire from work and immediately head to the bar to celebrate. After copious amounts of alcohol and free bar peanuts you attempt to drive home and hit a pedestrian, crash into a tree and pin them to it. Mel Gibson arrives to say his final farewells to the pedestrian. He kidnaps you and takes you back to his house where you are strapped to a chair and forced to watch The Passion of the Christ with Mel Gibson's commentary on loop for the rest of your life.

I wish there were 3 days in a weekend.
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flubbucket
Spam Gives Me Shiny Lips
1365 | 13
Common Posting Badge
Posted over 1.000 messages
Granted.

Trump signs into law the three day weekend. Attached to the same law is the seven-day-work-week resulting in a ten day week and 40 day month. Hypertension and exhaustion kill 95% of the world population and all that's left is 24/7 SJWs posting about their victimization and marginalization.


I wish someone would "deal" with my coworkers.
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Chris_Kush
Mangler
460 | 16
Granted.

The office is raided by crazy sex-starved prisoners who severely "deal" with your co-workers. You are the only one left alive and unsullied. You take over the company as the new CEO. Production dwindles and you are forced to declare bankruptcy. The IRS seizes all your possessions and you flee the country on a raft headed for Brazil. The raft capsizes and you are eaten by sharks, ass first!

I wish I could find a sexually enlightened freaky redhead as my next girlfriend.
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flubbucket
Spam Gives Me Shiny Lips
1365 | 13
Common Posting Badge
Posted over 1.000 messages
Granted.

However shortly after consummation of your relationship she joins the wildlings, meets Jon Snow, screws him and dies.


I wish my coworkers weren't sooooo incredibly stupid.