The Dark Fairy

Find here a variety of post-based forum games!
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Taem
Necrobot
2471 | 150
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Granted, you come over my house and help me complete my never ending list of stuff to do so we can play D2 together and reach 121 before anyone else and laugh about it in the forum games for the rest of our lives.

I love having such a busy life, however I wish to have some free time at least once a month for a week... forever!
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flubbucket
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Granted.

You now are volunteering one week for free at the prison conjugal visit trailer every month.


I wish wifey would stop nagging me about moving.
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Taem
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Granted! She slips, hits her head, and falls into a coma so you no longer have to worry about her nagging about moving... or anything else.

I wish I could play Sigma without feeling so much unpleasant nostalgia for d2
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flubbucket
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Granted.

Blizzard sends out worm virus destroying all remaining D2 game saves. Now the only place to play D2 is on the apple watch.


I wish people would listen to my advice more.
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Chris_Kush
Heretic
444 | 16
Granted.

Your advice saves millions of lives; this increases the planet's population; the food supply cannot sustain the increased population. The planet is gripped in a worldwide pandemic due to famine and poor soil quality...99.9% of the population dies leaving only the Kardashians, Kanye and Donald Trump to repopulate earth. No one will fuck Trump, he commits suicide; Kanye divorces Kim...the remaining Kardashians spend the rest of their lives tribbing in a vain attempt to procreate. Humanity ceases to exist.

I wish capitalism would end.
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flubbucket
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Granted.

The end of capitalism ushers in an age of barter and trade. Enterainers and athletes are deemed useless jesters and quickly relegated to the most impoverished of the new society. Laborers and trades people become the most powerful and therefore are in control. The world is now run by Mexicans.


I wish at least one of my bosses had some brains.
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Chris_Kush
Heretic
444 | 16
Granted.

You are immediately fired and forced to turn tricks to supplement your Meth habit.

I wish you could reply in forum games more often.
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flubbucket
Spam Gives Me Shiny Lips
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Granted.

It is now allowed to respond to forum posts on a second by second basis. This creates a post vortex which propels the forums into a sort of tornadic entropy spiral which causes the whole forum to implode upon itself.


I wish Hollywood would act right.
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Chris_Kush
Heretic
444 | 16
Granted.

Hollywood rids itself of all nepotism, corruption, overzealous social justice pursuits and a popularity over substance stance on actor / actress performances. Entertainment is now based solely on merit and artistic value. A generation of moronic youth and adults can't understand the new entertainment paradigm and spend less time watching TV and conducting water-cooler conversation. Their increased productivity leads to improved pay and bonuses; this in turn fuels their need to buy useless crap. The planet is plagued by rampant pollution which destroys fragile ecosystems triggering a mass extinction event. No more Pandas.

I wish I could mute people who annoy me.
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GregMXL
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10590 | 180
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Legend.
Granted. You've now muted the entire Median community. Smart move. Except now you're in a forum talking to yourself and you'll need to direct yourself to the suicide part of this forum and kill your forum identity off forever.

I wish I had more time to wack off.
I don't mean to dwell...but I can't help myself.