The "What Would You Do If" game

I'm surgical with a slow cooker, pato.

Wwydi your girl wanted you to step on her head while it's submerged under water in the bath tub while banging her?

I'd learn yoga first because that sounds like an almost impossible sex move that would pretty much guarantee to kill her

Wwydi you kept feeling good high as hell in a bad way - you just wanted to be sober - and you were 99% sure someone was poisoning you with drugs to ruin your life, but we're having trouble catching them?

I'd take a long vacation away from that person

Wwydi your dentist told you to kiss all your teeth goodbye?

I'd use my gums to eat out the girlfriend every morning. It'd be like a vagina rubbing on her vagina lul.

What would you do if you found out your wife of many years only married you for a pet you have?

I'd read up on beastiality and figure out where exactly I failed and where my dog succeeded.

Wwydi you had to play M2017 without multires and maphack?

I'd carry on as normal, as I don't use multires or D2MR anyways, and then I'd sit and laugh/get annoyed from people complaining about it here on the forum and in games/chat lobby.

What would you do if you were on your way, driving, into work/class/wherever in the morning, when all of a sudden, a large meteorite flies across the sky and crashes/explodes into the Earth 10 miles ahead of you on the road?

I'd look at the massive explosion for exactly 2 seconds say "hristos cyka blyat pizda" then continue my day as normal as possible while escaping the blast radius because Russia, that kind of stuff doesnt impress us much. (im not actually russian tho)

WWYDI you found out that Breaking Bad's main twist is that Walter was really cooking rock candy?

I think I would be mad that you spoiled the entire series for me, as I've never seen an episode. I do know how to make rock candy though, so in that case, I think I'd judge his process work.

What would you do if a sworn-into-the-religion nun began to flirt with you?

I'd gape her.

What would you do if you were the official anal gaping champion?

I would challenge Heathen to take my new title.

What would you do if you met a talking tarantula?