"The Median Patch Notes" Game

Find here a variety of post-based forum games!
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ekkudapoxui
Groupie
2691 | 31
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Posted over 2.500 messages
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+ everyone has virtual babies now
-that is not a good thing actually
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Taem
Death Mechanic
2232 | 92
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Posted over 1.000 messages
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Has a thread with over 50.000 views
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Earned over 20 cookies
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Donated 1 time
-Due to Sigma, Human population plummets and we are not an endangered species
+Aliens intervene IRL... only to get drawn into Sigma... new features incoming!
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billy500
Empty Cooky Jar
878 | 0
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Has a thread with over 10.000 views
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Donated 1 time
+Fixes typo in endangered species patch.
-World human population actually plummets. +Space Aids.
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Taem
Death Mechanic
2232 | 92
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Posted over 1.000 messages
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Has a thread with over 50.000 views
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Earned over 20 cookies
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Donated 1 time
+New evolution of Human race emerges, this time with 100x sexiness

-Old human population ceases to exist... Sigma lives on forever
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billy500
Empty Cooky Jar
878 | 0
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Has a thread with over 10.000 views
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Donated 1 time
+Sexiness is now able to be evaluated by scientists by dance moves and some weird gauges.

-Sexiness is overpowering and ends up blowing up the machines and it caused some people to die in the lab. Sigma's popularity taken down a few notches.
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flubbucket
Spam Gives Me Shiny Lips
1509 | 15
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Posted over 1.000 messages
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Has a thread with over 10.000 views
+The dead lab techs mutate into Sigma servers allowing millions of players to access game.

-The new lab tech/servers are infected with space aids.
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Taem
Death Mechanic
2232 | 92
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Posted over 1.000 messages
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Has a thread with over 50.000 views
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Earned over 20 cookies
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Donated 1 time
+Scientists somehow send a sentient computer programmed only with Sigma back in time millions of years

-The end of the universe arrives and the entire universe collapses in upon itself, ceasing to exist... at least at this point in time
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flubbucket
Spam Gives Me Shiny Lips
1509 | 15
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Posted over 1.000 messages
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Has a thread with over 10.000 views
+ Entropy of the Universe is now an available oskill.

- The shrines needed are in another dimension .
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Taem
Death Mechanic
2232 | 92
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Posted over 1.000 messages
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Has a thread with over 50.000 views
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Earned over 20 cookies
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Donated 1 time
- Latest patch killed the "fun" factor out of the game. A complete reboot is necessary

+ Devs introduce alternative version called Pagan Ritual where you literally summon the Devil IRL and attempt to kill him