The Person Below Me

I can't drink that shit. I got some pvc problems irl.

Tpbm almost died from speedballin.

Actually no, but by speedball do you mean meth + heroin, or coke + heroin, or coke + meth? Well, doesn't really matter, because I've done all three and never died or even came close really, but I would not recommend it, and not because it doesn't feel super great, but because I feel "those" drugs in-particular are very bad for people and have highly addictive qualities. I have no urges to do any of them again tbh, however I feel psychedelics are safe, and Psilocybin has been proven to help with mental depression and other mental ailments.

tpbm once had to shit so badly, but the restroom was occupied so they dropped a deuce in their pants and waddled home.

Yup..rolled down my leg and into my sock. I told everyone it was chocolate ice cream. Noone believed me.

Tpbm let's out an egg you fart in public and blames the nearest woman around them.

shit, I blamed the baby in the stroller then called the mother a bitch.

tpbm lives on Twinkies and doughnuts

Don't laugh but I've seriously been on an "eat terrible for you but tasty snacks" kick.

Tpbm has nuts that are a lot larger than their wiener.

yes, but you should see what I blow my load... buckets of fun!

tpbm makes "food porn" with meat when guests arrive, much to their spouses dismay

Always have the 2 apples and 1 banana out in a plate for my wife's family.

Tpbm wishes they were hispanic and denounces their whiteness.

haha, well, I'm half and half now so, why not: yes, I vehemently hate my whitey so I take frequent trips to Mexico and throw on a pancho and try to fit in even though I don't speak a word of Spanish.

tpbm threw out their back trying to lick their own butthole

Nah, I'll be alright. I only tried it once. Big fail on my part.

Tpbm always goes commando.

that's full frontal commando sir! And only at the beach!

tpbm enjoys being at work more than their home-life