The Person Below Me

Happy Gilmore gave me nightmares for years!

Tpbm went back to school with high hopes and failed miserably

Who do I look like, Billy Madison?

Tpbm thinks you ain't cool unless you pee your pants.

I'm the Fonz of pants pissing.

Tpbm uses floss illegally.

Those little kids never minded it when they let me floss their teeth.

Tpbm thinks his shit doesn't stink.

doesn't taste half bad either. Not sure why everyone was so grossed out by two girls one cup anyway.

tpbm once performed fellatio on their spouses anus (aka rim job) only to swallow the foulest fart imaginable

I've realized you need to try different things in the sack in order to keep things a bit more spicy.

Tpbm uses the phrase "soup to nuts" too often and it pisses me off.

So Solly....I meant to say Soup?? Two Nuts. I'm not the smartz on punctuation, but I sell cheap soup.

Tpbm is currently typing with their winkie.

Of course, it's pretty much like I'm using my pinky anyway.

Tpbm saves their just shaven pubes for a rainy day.

I like to arrange them in piles all-the-while singing, "do you want to build a snowman"

tpbm started shaving their eyebrows after watching the Matrix thinking it'd be a new trend

"do you want to build a snowman"....awesome!!!

I shave because of a serious waxing incident....that shit really burns when you get it in your eyes!!

Tpbm still can't figure out exactly how the birds and bees actually do it.