"The Median Patch Notes" Game

[ekkudapoxui]

+ everyone has virtual babies now
-that is not a good thing actually

[Taem]

-Due to Sigma, Human population plummets and we are not an endangered species
+Aliens intervene IRL... only to get drawn into Sigma... new features incoming!

[billy500]

+Fixes typo in endangered species patch.
-World human population actually plummets. +Space Aids.

[Taem]

+New evolution of Human race emerges, this time with 100x sexiness

-Old human population ceases to exist... Sigma lives on forever

[billy500]

+Sexiness is now able to be evaluated by scientists by dance moves and some weird gauges.

-Sexiness is overpowering and ends up blowing up the machines and it caused some people to die in the lab. Sigma's popularity taken down a few notches.

[flubbucket]

+The dead lab techs mutate into Sigma servers allowing millions of players to access game.

-The new lab tech/servers are infected with space aids.

[Taem]

+Scientists somehow send a sentient computer programmed only with Sigma back in time millions of years

-The end of the universe arrives and the entire universe collapses in upon itself, ceasing to exist... at least at this point in time

[flubbucket]

+ Entropy of the Universe is now an available oskill.

- The shrines needed are in another dimension .

[Taem]

- Latest patch killed the "fun" factor out of the game. A complete reboot is necessary

+ Devs introduce alternative version called Pagan Ritual where you literally summon the Devil IRL and attempt to kill him