The Person Below Me

Chopped Pâté to be precise.

Tpbm seriously just mentioned Wall Ball.

I loved it when I was young.

Tpbm things tpat is an old bastard.

You'll have to speak up, the nurse is screaming while changing my diaper. Can't hear shit....

Tpbm continues to insist a Backstreet Boys/N*Sync Reunion Tour could save modern music.

Omg those guys are such hotties!

Tpbm used to try emulating those band members in front of a mirror about 15 years ago.

Helicoptering my winkie in front of the mirror the whole time!!

Tpbm agrees Barry Manilow is the shizzle.

That guy gets mad puzzy. Even if he's older than America.

Tpbm cries himself to sleep while listening to Avril Lavigne.

She touches the narcissistic emo-necrophiliac inside me.

Tpbm will again this year be donating all his used condoms to Toys for Tots.

Donate? I pay them to take them off my hands.

Tpbm has a date with his trusty hand tonight.

.

We don't even need to talk anymore.It's a beautiful relationship.

Tpbm writes erotic fan fiction featuring the smurfs.

I told Papa Smurf what I would do to Smurfette and he approves.

Tpbm is a professional rectal thermometer tester.