Wow she's got nice eyes. Granted! But then they tell you they don't need you because they just fuck themselves. You get depressed cause you got rejected by a hermaphrodite and off yourself.
Granted! You grow five inches taller miraculously over night, however the growth pains are excruciating and crush your nerves causing you complete paralysis below the waist!
Granted! Now your dog tells you exactly what's on his mind and keeps cursing you out cause you're too lazy to walk him and cause you keep feeding him the same food the past 10 years. He tells you he refuses to be your best friend. Then your wife dumps you, you die and go to hell for animal abuse.
Granted! Nobody works and, being too lazy to do anything but complain, most of the population starve to death, unable to figure out how to grow their own food.
I wish I could do what I wanted to do for work, instead of what pays well.
Granted! No seriously, so do I. But since this has to be negative you finally get your wish and become a pornstar and bang the hottest sluts around and encounter a mean bout with syphilis which you never knew about, therefore never took care of it. Obviously you die cause that's how this forum games goes.
I wish I could murder anyone who I deem deserved it and not go to jail.
Granted! You are given "miracle healing hands" and every time you murder someone, they come back to life instantly, but fully healed without any ailments! Now people line the streets just so you can "kill" them!
I wish I could get paid for every thought I thought
Granted! Only problem was you were supposed to get paid for every useful thought you had and you obviously went penniless, wore different colored, old lady shoes and begged in the streets.
I wish I could get paid like a baseball player and still do what I hate.
Granted. You became baseball player and got mvp. One of the last game of season you being hit in the testicles. After that you are being taken straight to hospital and got dilemma: Continue successful career but without testicles or live with them but with no particular talent
Granted! But you don't gain the ability to control/filter thoughts and are constantly bombarded with people every whim until you go insane and jump off a bridge to silence the voices in your head!