The Person Below Me

Thank god I had those tonsils removed.

Tpbm gets daily pedicures and paints his toenails black because of how he feels on the inside.

Self loathing manifests itself once again...

tpbm was paid $500 to mate their pure-breed dog with another, but the other owner demanded "no sex" to not damage his bitch, so tpbm had to manually jerk his dog off.

I do have natural rhythm.

Tpbm has never passed a urine test.

Nay, I tried but only passed a kidney stone instead.

Tpbm tried drinking a six pack of 24oz redbull and jerking off all night long recently

Yea it was weird. It gave me wings but it also gave me an erection lasting more than 24 hours.

Tpbm has been thinking long and hard about replacing his testosterone with estrogen.

Well technically you need both hormones rather a girl/boy, but I get your funny.... yes, I Bruce Jenner is my hero!

Tpbm loves picking up their dogs shits with their bare hands, esp at public parks where onlookers stare aghast!

I personally like taking dumps in public parks and not clean up but instead leaving a note saying "Caution: May contain nuts."

Tpbm checks everyone's prostate even though he's not even a doctor.

Well, I figure if I work in the hospital, rather I just happen carry a mop or some fancy smancy instrument in my pocket, I gotta do my part for those men suffering prostatitis. Here's to all the janitors of the world!

Tpbm milked their own prostate... with their entire fist!

Lefty Loosey, Righty Tighty, Whatta Messy!!

Tpbm keeps a small hatchet next to the toilet.

Ofc, and a 9mm under the lid. You never know when "they" might come get you!

Tpbm accidentally blew their load in their girlfriend and was afraid to tell their wife...